I've had the urge for several days now to write, since writing is one of my (although infrequent) self-care creative outlets. The question has really been "what do I write about?" because not everything that goes through my head is writing worthy, and not every topic I'm willing to share about, and I already may get a tad repetitive with things so best to avoid that where I can. I do enjoy writing about music I love, so I've decided to just make another blog where I talk about a bunch of songs I like under a specific topic. And looking back over my past blogs, since I've already written about the loud, angry songs I like to listen to when in a bad mood, I figured today I'll write about the songs that make me cry!
I've actually surprised people when talking about me being a crier. I've actually been a very prolific crier for as long as I can remember. I attribute it to a combination of being a very emotionally sensitive person and probably having had anxiety since I was a kid and not knowing what that was until I was an adult. However, I also HATE letting other people see me cry! Obviously there are exceptions for people who have known me so long that they've seen it enough times (probably too many sad movies). I attribute THIS to that super fun hard outer shell that a lot of highly sensitive people develop because other people make it feel wrong to be that emotional and that easily prone to crying, and add on top of that the pressure I used to put on myself to always appear on top of everything because I am only valuable for what I achieve and what I do for others and not as an individual with individual value. Because crying is a crack through which weakness leaks and I am not permitted to show weakness to most people. And I think it's interesting (my default word for "it makes me think but idk how I feel about it") that I have NEVER thought that about anyone else but myself. I've always been a big hearted caring person that always thought it was okay for people to express how they felt and to be cared for. It's funny how much of the good things some of us bring to others we can't seem to bring to ourselves.
Well, now that I got that out, let's begin with some sad songs! Just a warning, I will try to call out when some of these songs talk about more difficult topics. I don't really expect people to actually listen to them anyway (it's hard enough just reading through my drivel, hahaha) but yeah. And knowing me, there are going to be a bunch of songs people don't know because I have my own special taste in music.
When I think "songs that make Dayna cry" the first, easiest to come to mind is the acoustic version of "Bruised" by Jack's Mannequin. This song came to my collection from a sample CD I received at a Warped Tour in the late 00's. If I remember correctly, the song is about being on tour impacting a relationship. This has been a go to crying song for me since I first heard it. I think it's partly the emotion in Andrew McMahon's voice and that second verse! I relate too hard to that idea of every song coming on whatever is playing music somehow reminding me what's upsetting to me. I would think to myself that if for some reason I ever had to do a performance of some kind that required me to cry (this was even when I wasn't even performing, haha) that I could make myself cry just by thinking about this song in my head. Granted, this whole pandemic experience has made it much easier for me to cry, so I don't think I'd need this song anymore, hahaha.
Let Her Cry by Hootie & The Blowfish is still a song I love so much. And if it has cry in the title, it's probably a good crying song, right? Yes, the tears do come down like rain. And yes singing does ease the pain. They get it. I think this is a great example of a song that combines a vocalist who is emoting through his vocals and also the instrumentation of the song also evokes those same feelings. Pay attention to the guitar through the different verses. The guitar is mildly strummed in the first, adds some more in the second, and then gets some guitar riffs that rip through the other sounds in the third. The guitar work increasing that sense of pain as the song builds and gets more emotional. What starts out feeling more mellowed sad builds into something that feels more anguished.
If I Die Young by The Band Perry. I don't usually listen to a lot of country music that isn't early days Taylor. But there's something so beautifully sad about this song. I'm not exactly young anymore, but I'm not old. But I can still feel sad when I listen to this song!
Stand By Me by Ben E. King. This song is so sweet and beautiful. And another vocalist who can really emote. Idk if it's just me, but there are some older songs that just feel so much sadder than I think they should. I guess I just associate older times with music that was much more innocent and empty. But I guess even if older songs couldn't/didn't do more sexual or drug referenced things, but that doesn't mean people didn't write really emotional, painful songs. (The song Since I Don't Have You from like the 1950s hella makes me cry too.)
I have the Pentatonix version of Say Something in my music library because I like it a lot, and I HATE the original singer's voice so much. I've heard people sing this song on singing competitions and on the internet because it's a very beautiful song. But for me the original artist's/singer's voice is hella annoying. So I purposefully looked for an alternative version of this song. Giving up on people is so hard! I've had to give up on people before because no matter how much you care about someone, sometimes you just have to walk away because having the other person in your life just don't function anymore. What makes this song particularly sad is not wanting to give up but knowing that unless the other person communicates, the singer has to give up. It's so painful knowing you want to work things out but you can't make someone else communicate and there becomes a point where giving up is the only way to get to healing. The line that hits me the most is "I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you." I consider myself an empath and to have strong interpersonal skills, and I am someone that sees and hears and takes to heart so much about the people that I care about. So the idea of all of that being futile to get to someone I care about is so heartbreaking to me, especially where I would probably work harder than what would be "fair" if given the chance.
Cigarette by Splender. I am pretty sure I got this album pretty close to when it came out in 1999. I was in high school. I remember hearing Splender's song "Hey, Whatever" on the radio on KWOD and had to buy the whole album, which I still love very much to this day. The one after this was fine enough I guess. But I clearly did not understand or relate to this song at that age. I related to it a LOT now. In 1999 I had never even had a cigarette and planned to never smoke, ever. Now all I can say is that sometimes life gets really hard and you just have to make it one day at a time, right?
Mine from Glee sung by Naya Rivera. Sorry Taylor Swift, but this is my preferred version of this song. This is the version that I like to sing. I definitely feel like a careless man's careful daughter. I really want someone to be mine, someone who makes me start to believe. And Naya gives so much emotion to this song! I love her voice so much! I loved it when she sang more than anyone else on that show. This has been one of those songs where it's 50/50 whether when I hear it I am going to sing it or cry - not literally right now b/c clearly I have been crying on and off as I write this blog.
The One with No One by Secrets. I relate to the chorus part of this song moreso than the verses. I really appreciate the calmer, mellow moments of Secrets. My blog post about songs I listen to when in a bad mood is full of Secrets songs because to many of them are loud and heavy and angry. So I really like the more vulnerable, sad moment here.
Ten by Yellowcard. Don't ever listen to this song unless you want to be emotionally destroyed. This is what this song is about - Ten years prior to the writing of the song Ryan Key's girlfriend got an abortion, and this song is about what it would be like if that kid were born and now 10. (This and so many other reasons is why my thoughts around abortion are do whatever it is you think is right for you, because no matter the choice or the reason, it's going to be hard and painful, and I am always going to be 100% pro-empathy and hoping people get healing and support.) I do this this most years where I listen through every song in my music library and I have to emotionally prepare myself for this one (and a few others) because I know this will hurt, but it's also a very sweet song.
Your Wildest Dreams by The Moody Blues. Back in like 2016 I went back through the top 100 songs of every year of the 1980s to fill in some music gaps in my music collection. When I rediscovered this song I immediately burst into tears. I think partly because it's a cry worthy song and partly because I forgot it existed and remembered loving this song as a little kid.
The Only Exception by Paramore. Listening to anything on this album takes me back to my first year of law school. In my more cynical moments, I very much agree with the verses of this song. Still waiting for my exception, although I'm not sure I believe one exists.
Our Time to Go by State Champs. To me this song is an interesting mix of expressing personal struggle and also being encouraging to get out and do something. I think about other songs that feel like encouragement anthems and this song has a feel of that but also with this like gritty, open wound acknowledgement of actually hurting. Sometimes I feel like pithy songs or saying to motivate people just gloss over that the pain is real and needs to be felt and processed. Sometimes you have to keep moving forward and working toward your goals even when it's hard and it hurts, and it's okay to be in both places at the same time. The line "nothing hurts more than saying I'm fine" really hits home for me. I've stopped giving the "fine" or similar lie when I am not okay and I am talking to someone I actually know. I may never intend to say "xyz is really bothering me" but I will say something more to the truth of "I'm surviving" or giving a noncommittal noise or something. I am so over the social b.s. of asking someone how they are and then lying about how I am. Either as a society we need to not ask as a greeting or be more truthful.
Some Artists Just WANT to Make Us Cry!
Ok, so of course when I was planning this blog I made a playlist. I love to make playlists. But since the rough first pass had 160+ songs, I clearly cannot mention them all and will certainly not link to videos of them all. To make it easier I am going to group some songs into sections. For this section, I'm going to discuss artists that just have too many good crying songs that I have to each least mention multiple!
I feel like people that are just casually aware of Taylor Swift's music will think more of her peppy up beat songs. But Taylor has so many slower, sadder songs. I could probably cry my way through all or most of folklore and evermore because those albums are never more than one song away from something that can latch onto you emotional and bring on the tears. My Tears Ricochet is one of my favorites to cry to. Again, I am pretty sure if you put "tears" or "cry" in a song title, it is legally required to make you cry. I don't make the rules. I read online that possibly at least part of this song is actually about her issues with the guy that bought her music. I just think it's interesting that while a lot of songs are written about romantic relationship stuff, it's interesting how when it comes down to it all types of relationships create struggles and can bring happiness or pain. Like there are songs about NOT love stuff that sound like they could be, and there are songs about love stuff that make me think of non-love situations. Because at the end of the day we care about all sorts of people and dreams and goals, and happiness and pain can come from any part of our life.
I was just talking about Exile this weekend with a friend over breakfast. Oddly enough, when I hear this song I think of playing Minecraft. When this album first came out, I listened to it a lot while playing Minecraft, and I would be running through the untamed woods of my Minecraft world playing this song on repeat (it's one of my favs from the album), and just crying. Maybe part of why I played 1000+ hours of Minecraft in 2020 was because I needed something to do with my hands while I cried listening to Taylor Swift. Hahahaha.
So many songs remind me of people. Some songs sort of move forward with me and will lose association with a specific person because those songs are more about me than them. But there are still some songs that a person is still stuck to, sometimes even after many many years. Most songs are more nostalgic than anything, like songs that still remind me of guys I like in high school. Red is the only song that is stuck to someone and the song can still make me cry because of that. I think sure, some of that is because there is still hurt there from years ago that is still impacting me now, but also listening to this song takes me back like I am empathizing with my past self. I also struck me as interesting how I think of the same person when I listen to "I Forgot That You Existed" because I definitely have gone "oh yeah, that's someone that technically still exists, but turns out I am indifferent now."
I could cry to so many Taylor Swift songs, so instead of just listing them ALL, I'm going to add some honorable mentions to save time:
- Happiness
- Forever and Always (Piano Version) - Pianos sound so much sadder. It's also interesting how many songs can just be slowed down and then suddenly was more sad.
- Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran) - Ed's going to show back up. This really isn't even sad, more like "that sounds like something I want". I guess Taylor and Ed together is too much in one song!
- New Year's Day - I want this so badly! I'm not perfect and I struggle, and I know I'll find someone who does too. And I am down for cleaning up after the messy times, and not just the fun. The line about the laugh I can recognize anyway hits me! I know people whose specific laughs do/did bring me joy, so the thought of hearing a laugh like that from the lens of not being in their life anymore is so sad.
- Safe & Sound - This is a song from The Hunger Games. So not only is the song emotional but also knowing what it was inspired by bring THAT emotion into it.
I started listening to Ed Sheeran around the time I started going through a very rough sad period, so most if not all of the "+" album at some point had me in tears. The one song through that still hits hard is Give Me Love. I've never had a guy drunk call me. I only once drunk called a guy, the Halloween after I had graduated college. It wasn't that mean of a message, but I remember saying the F word a lot. Honestly that was very out of character for me and I don't even really know why I did it. (It's funny the random stuff that comes out when I am just in the writing flow and responding in the moment as I listen to these songs while I type.)
Here are a sampling of other Ed Sheeran crying songs because I could list to many otherwise if I don't just sample:
- Happier - Damn it Ed and Talyor, why do you have songs with a form of "happy" that are actually very sad because you were happy and now that's all gone, and that hurts hell of a lot!
- U.N.I. - I particularly relate to the line "I don't get waves of missing you anymore, more like tsunami tides." It's interesting how when you miss someone, for whatever reason, some moments you're totally fine going about your day, and then the sadness hits you and it just feels like you're going to drown in that sadness because the tears are never going to stop.
- Small Bump - WARNING - on first listen this is such a sweet song about a soon to come baby. But once you've heard the end of the song, it's too sad to listen to!! This song was about and for friends of Ed's.
I don't follow John Mayer anymore because once his music got more folksy, I ducked out. I disliked his fourth album and never looked back. But Continuum is amazing! And Gravity is may favorite John Mayer song. I've definitely felt like life just keep brining me down. I feel that way now for sure.
Here's some more good crying John Mayer Songs:
- Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
- Dreaming with a Broken Heart
- Daughters - I think it's funny that people do father/daughter dances to this song at weddings. The point of this song is that he's dating a girl who is having issues because of a bad father. I mean, it would definitely be fitting for some weddings for sure, but that's not the kind of message you want to send anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_niK4wFgEcTigXAAjtc5faBC2ZERJuKlbI
Seriously, if you want to cry along to an entire album, I highly recommend Divinely Uninspired To A Hellish Extent by Lewis Capaldi. There is literally only 1 song on that album that doesn't make me cry. The song structures on this album are all very basic and repetitive - verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus. But that really does not matter (actually it really helps remembering the lyrics because I like to sing many of these too). To me, the emotions a singer can put into the song can make a difference to how it sounds. On the bad end of the spectrum, I've heard singers with amazing voices that left me feeling "meh" because they have the vocal structure to hit big notes and stuff, but cannot emote and so their singing is cold. On the other hand, Lewis here not only has a great voice but his singing is just dripping in emotion. I've seen him interviewed and he's this heavily accented Scottish dude constantly making deprecating jokes. But when he sings, dang it's beautiful and full of emotion! And of course he is also good at putting those feelings into words to then sing.
I still love listening to Flyleaf! I love rock bands of any time with pretty, girly belting voiced lead female singers (probably because that's the kind of music I'd want to make and I have that kind of voice). Thinking about it, Flyleaf was probably also the first time I personally came across a band that sang about some pretty pain, personal internal struggles that was a female voice. I picked Missing because while so many of the other songs I empathize with, this on hits me in a real personal place. Maybe I like to listen to this song while wallowing in self pity, hehehe. Idk, I guess I've just always felt like maybe something is missing in me and that's why I have struggles opening up and why I'm perpetually alone. Like a laptop accidentally made w/o ports or wifi capabilities.
Other Flyleaf songs worth mentioning:
- Tiny Heart
- Much Like Falling - I feel compelled to state that I've never fully related to the content of this song, but related to feelings that in others give rise to these kinds of things and also give rise to other thoughts and actions that feel equally as sad and painful without being so intense. I purposefully will not link to this song because it's heavy and if you don't know it, probably best to not worry about it.
- Supernatural
Dang You Animated Movies and Your Sad Songs!
Like I've said, I've been a cryer for as long as I can remember. And as a little little kid my fav movie was An American Tail. I still have my stuffed Fievel in a bin somewhere! And damn can Somewhere Out There still make me bawl like a baby. I think as a kid this kind of story is one of the few that I could relate to emotionally because the fear of getting separated from your family is something kids can imagine and related to. Every kid has probably had at least one moment where they got lost someplace and got scared and sad. Compare that to say the beginning of Up, which makes me hella sad as an adult, but if I saw that as a kid I don't know if I would have been as affected because I wouldn't have the mental capacity or experience to understand what makes that sooooo sad.
- Baby Mine from Dumbo. More parent and child separation sadness! Gah! It was hard enough listening to it all these years being sad about being away from a mom. But now that I am old enough to understand what it would be like being a mom (one day? who even knows anymore at this point?) the thought of being kept away from a child is even sadder.
- Best of Friends from Fox and the Hound. They just wanted to be friends! But the world is stupid sometimes and other people suck sometimes, and that gets in the way and it hurts.
- Know Who You Are from Moana. Just listening to this song is rough, but when watching the movie, oh my goodness! I am a goner! Auliʻi Cravalho's voice is so beautiful and emotive. Plus, even when not watching the movie I can still picture it. The imagery here is so moving. It makes me think of Te Fiti as people who are very warm and loving and caring. But sometimes those people go through stuff that rips their heart out and all you can see is the rage hot anger and pain. But then the beauty of someone seeing through that to help that person get their heart back is just so beautiful. I can definitely relate.
Maybe These Songs Shouldn't Make Me Cry, But They Do
As I was making my crying song playlist, I noticed that while most of the songs were slower and sad, that wasn't necessarily the case for all of them. Some songs are mellow but not necessarily sad. Others could be considered outright peppy. But the fun/weirdness/sorrow of this process and my brain is I guess crying can surprise you! It definitely surprises me!
House on Pooh Corner by Loggins & Messina. I have been crying to this song most of my life. It's such a sweet, cute folky song about Winnie the Pooh. Why does it make me cry? I don't know! But it does
Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes. This is a peppy song! But it has reduced me to tears so many times! I guess I just think about the people on both sides of this song - the person being treated badly that deserves better, and the person alone that just wants to love someone they see hurting - and that just makes me really sad.
Brink of Disaster by Mae. Another pretty up tempo song. I think a lot of it has to do with when this song came into my life and also with I really relate to the car metaphor. I've always felt like my car was a safe place away from all my responsibilities to just be alone and that if I ever really wanted to, I could just drive off.
Bad Guy by Set It Off. This is legit a super catchy, rather upbeat song. I bought this album when it came out in 2014 and really didn't think much about how the song is peppy but the subject isn't. But then one day only a few months ago this song came on while I was driving and I really listened to the lyrics and I just crumbled into tears. I just thought like how could anyone have someone in their life that very clearly cares a lot and is willing to put in the effort to show it, and just treat that person cruelly and make them the bad guy. Like I've experienced situations where I've been unappreciated and things I've done have gone unnoticed, but this seems so much sadder and painful.
Oh Those Pesky Teenage Years
For some fun, here's a couple songs I liked to cry to as a teenager! Ahh, the memories!
Call and Answer by Barenaked Ladies. I think it's so funny that this song made me cry when I was younger when I really did not understand it at all. Good song writing though if the emotion can be felt even if not understood by the listener, I guess.
Umbrella by Dog's Eye View. I consider this a song that reminds me of being a teen because I discovered this song as a freshman or sophomore in college and was therefore still technically a teen.
In Conclusion
Well, I just spent some time writing about a bunch of songs that make me cry. Coincidentally, I also spent some time crying. Weird. Was listening to a bunch of songs that make me cry on purpose a good idea? Was this cathartic or wallowing? Some questions cannot be answered. Or maybe why not both? At any rate, I passed some time. That's something.
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